Effervescence
by BrDPirateMan
Summary: Neku is destined to disappear from existence due to his performance in the Game. For Shiki, letting go of the man she loves is the hardest thing to do.


**Effervescence  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Let's see… Today we had a meeting about what kind of designs we're supposed to come up with for the next summer collection. Then I carried on with work as usual, and what do you know, the design I came up with got the green light from the boss. And for lunch I had a nice bowl of my favourite ramen. Life was good!

The evening was approaching and work was done for the day. I was feeling great and there was a spring in my step.

"Hey, Shiki." That voice… Ah, it was Eri, my best friend and workmate. I wasn't as good as her in designing, but I was learning fast.

"What's up, Eri?"

She joined me in the lift together with a few other friends from work, and we rode it down. "Wanna hit the bars tonight? It's Friday after all."

"You know I don't take alcohol, you know," I chuckled, "and besides, I'm busy tonight."

She jabbed me in the arm gently. "Yeah… busy with your boyfriend!" This caused the other girls to giggle and turn to me expectantly for juicy details of any possible "things" I might have done with him. He was a nice guy, but we hadn't gone anywhere as far as that!

"It's just a date, Eri," I laughed, "Nothing that'll warrant me a place in a gossip magazine."

"Heh… Oh, well, it's been five years, you know. You ought to take things further! But it's cool." The elevator descended to the ground floor and everyone trooped out. "Enjoy your date!" she called as we parted ways. I waved back and caught sight of her bundling into a car with her other friends. Looked like another round of sake at the local sushi bar for them…

I walked towards the usual meeting place, and while I was tempted to run, I didn't. Not good to run too much on these nice loafers that I bought for a hefty price.

There he was, leaning against the Statue of Hachiko, looking cool and absorbed in his thoughts. His head was bobbing to some music that he was listening with his trademark blue headphones.

I could resist the temptation no longer. Jogging towards him at a brisk pace, I made my way towards him. He snapped his eyes open and when he saw me, he broke into a smile.

He caught me just as I slammed into him in a big hug.

And I squealed his name. "Neku!"

"Hi, Shiki." He wasn't one for loud, ostentatious greetings, but it was perfectly fine with me.

"Been waiting long?"

"No, not at all," he said, caressing my back gently as he returned the hug. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling really peckish!"

"Ah, good timing. Come on, let's go and have dinner and then we can go take a walk around town."

"Wouldn't miss this date for the world," I chirped, holding his arm.

XOXOXOXOXO

Five years have passed since the Reapers' Game ended for my boyfriend Neku Sakuraba and I, Shiki Misaki. We had both died, gone through hell, and while the eventual victory was somewhat hollow and not the pat in the back that we were expecting, at least we were brought back to life.

For all of us, the whole experience brought tremendous soul pain. But it changed us for the better and helped us to appreciate our daily lives fully. I must readily admit that if it weren't for the Game, I probably would have gone on stewing in regret and jealousy over Eri, but that's another story for another day.

And if I had not been a participant in the Game, I wouldn't have met the most amazing person to ever enter my life… him. Neku.

After the Game ended, we hit it off nicely, and became fast friends. It didn't take that much longer for the seeds of romance to blossom between us. He was the love of my life, and we were so happy together.

We had a most scrumptious dinner that night, and later, while my gal pals were busy drinking their heads off at some seedy bar, I was strolling around Miyashita Park with Neku – wasn't this a much better way to spend time? The warm ambience that the streetlights lent to the surroundings was breathtaking. I decided that I had to take it all in at my leisure, so I suggested we rest at a bench, which we did.

"This place is so romantic at night," I gushed, snuggling up to him. "Don't you think so?"

"Huh? Um… yeah."

His reaction was unnaturally lukewarm, not the pleasant banter that I hoped to share with him. He had a slight frown on his face, not of anger, but more of worry. I knew that look. Something was up. But what?

I simply had to find out. "Neku, what's wrong? Is something bothering you?"

My eyes were riveted on his face, but he sheepishly averted my gaze. He was biting his lip nervously, something I had never seen him do before. And that was when I knew that he was being blighted by something far more worrying than I thought.

"Neku," I repeated, softly as usual, but with more firmness, "you have to tell me. I'm your friend, and I love you. There's something wrong, isn't it?"

He slowly turned to face me, but he still wouldn't make eye contact. But he did answer, "Yes… we need to talk."

_We need to talk?_ We weren't going to break up, were we? Just the very thought of that made the palms of my hands sweat and go all clammy.

"No, Shiki," he said, as though he could read my thoughts, "we're not going to break up, but what I need to talk to you about… in a way, it may be worse than breaking up."

"Wh-What?" I gulped. What was worse than breaking up? Was he going to move away to a country far away? Or something along those lines?

"Shiki… How should I put this…" He paused to think before continuing. "Something bad is going to happen to me. I'll tell you why in a moment…"

"What is it?" I stammered anxiously, clutching onto his arm by instinct. "What's going to happen to you?" He had to place his free hand on my vice-like fingers in an attempt to calm me down and relieve the pressure on his arm.

He took a deep breath. Then, in a small voice unlike his own, he replied, "It's about the Reapers' Game."

"What about it? Isn't it over? We cleared it, right?"

"We did, but… you remember how I had to play the Game for a total of three weeks?"

I nodded, hanging onto his every word like glue.

"In the third week, I was extensively helping Beat to overthrow The Composer." Beat was our friend and another Player in the Game, while The Composer was the mastermind behind the entire Game to begin with, and he was a shady character I didn't like very much. "We ended up causing a lot of trouble for the Reapers, breaking rules one too many times… To make a long story short, we made a total mess out of that Game."

"Go on…" I had a right to know, but I was scared. I didn't really want to learn something that would jeopardize my relationship with Neku. And the Reapers' Game was decidedly scary enough.

"The Composer turned a blind eye to most of the things we've been doing, but he couldn't overlook the fact that I was abetting a coup."

"A coup?"

"What I mean by that is when I was helping Beat in his quest to take down The Composer. We just wanted to get his sister back to normal, but by doing that, we were ultimately aiming to change the way the whole system with the Game worked. And when I agreed to help him, I unwittingly waived off my right to exist."

"What do you mean? !" I was panicking. "What do you mean you waived off your right to exist? !"

Again Neku avoided my intense pleading eyes. What he said next was the most painful thing I had ever heard. "The Composer didn't take too kindly to my helping to toss him out of his warm seat of power, so he punished me. He reincarnated me, just like he did all of us, but he gave me only five years to live, starting from the moment of rebirth."

The shock coated my entire body in a uniform layer of cold sweat. "What? ! What… happens when the five years are up?"

"…Then I'll just disappear." He hung his head, completely ashamed. "I'll no longer exist."

"This can't be true…" Neku would eventually disappear? He would vanish, just like that, when he had reached his end? ! Why was The Composer so cruel? ! I was more than ready to burst into tears at this harsh cold fate brought down upon the man I loved.

"Tell me you're joking."

He sighed sadly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Believe me, I want to think it's all a sick joke too, but it's not. The Composer came to me last month, reminding me of my deadline."

"He did? !"

"Yeah… He told me that I didn't have much time left, and that I would be smart to use my remaining time wisely."

Wait a minute… Five years… When we were brought back to life, that was… No! It couldn't be!

"Neku!" I gasped, "We were reincarnated five years ago! H-How much time do you have left? !"

"…Just under two months."

"What? ! Two months? !"

"I'm sorry… but that's how it is…"

"But that's not fair!" I wailed, letting the tears flow down my face. "Why, why, why? ! Why didn't you tell me earlier, Neku? ! You can't hide things like this from me and expect me to be okay with it afterward!"

"I knew all along that I should let you know about this, but during the times we shared together, you were so happy. I couldn't bring myself to ruin your happiness by telling you something that would make you worry so much."

Thoughtful as ever. But I wasn't sure now if it was good or bad. All I could do was cry my heart out as he held me in his arms.

"I-Idiot!" I choked, raking his chest weakly with my fingers, "Idiot… Why… Why does it have to be like this…"

"I'm sorry…"

I wanted to yell at him, "Sorry wouldn't cut it!" But as much as I wanted to vent my frustrations, I just couldn't.

"Shiki," he whispered, "I'm sorry for doing this, but it's only because I love you. I just wanted to keep you happy for as long as I could. Well… I have two more months till I… you know. So I'd like to spend as much time as I can with you until then. That is, if you forgive me and you don't mind."

"Neku… I…"

Trembling terribly, I used every ounce of my energy to lift my head to look into his eyes. With deft gentle strokes of his fingers, he brushed the tear trails off of my cheeks. I could feel the love overflowing from him as he did that. Overcome by a concoction of raw emotions, I said not a single word more and pressed my lips onto his mouth.

Miyashita Park was by no means an empty place. There were still a few pedestrians milling about and I just knew they were staring – possibly cringing – at us, but I didn't care, and neither did he.

And we neither stopped nor paused for breath. We reveled in the warmth of our kiss, filled with romance and flooded with the colours of the rainbow. What felt like an hour – it may well have been just three minutes – passed before it was I who softly broke away.

"Neku," I said, "I want us to spend our every waking hour together. You have to promise me we'll do that."

"I… Yes. We'll do that." He caressed my damp cheek with the knuckles of his hand.

"I want our time together to be something we can remember for years to come."

"Yeah, I feel the same way."

We hugged each other tightly. I didn't want to let go of him. I was afraid to let go. Somewhere in my mind I thought that if I did, he would dissolve into dust before my eyes. But those were just nightmarish thoughts. He still had another two months to go. If Neku and I could only be together for that long, then there was no way I would waste the time we were given.

XOXOXOXOXO

From that day onwards, we really did everything we could to stay together. We went out for dates once a week, maybe twice. Both of us were already working, and every time we met on the streets in the evenings after work was done for the day, we made it a point to go someplace like a restaurant or ramen shop to just talk about everything that fell under the sun, even if it was only for a little while.

What we were doing was no different from our usual schedules in life, and while I appreciated his love before, now I treasured it even more. I tried not to think too much about Neku's dwindling hours, concentrating instead on the now. And while my time with him did much to alleviate the worry and stress that was plaguing my heart, there was a clear, fogless part in my head that recognized the seriousness of this situation.

Time was running out, both for me and for him. It was hard to tell who had it worse, though.

But if he was worried – and I was sure he was – he definitely didn't show it. My eyes may have been puffy on at least five occasions from crying the night before, but he always had a soulful smile ready for me, and it really uplifted my spirits.

Our goal to stick together quickly turned into an obsession, though it was an obsession for a perfectly good reason. However, it had a severe effect on my relationships with my other friends.

"Shiki!" said Eri to me one day at work. "Come on! You haven't come out with the lot of us for the past three weeks! That's a long time!"

Said another co-worker cheerily, "Yeah, we're gonna go hit this trendy restaurant tonight! Join us!" The other girls smiled and nodded with much enthusiasm.

I didn't want to just wave them away, but that was exactly what I did. "I'm sorry, guys," I said, forcing a smile, "but I have something I really, really have to take care of."

Everyone seemed disappointed. We were a tight-knit group at work, almost like a family, and my constant reluctance to join them on their nights out made it seem like I was pushing them away. But I couldn't afford to spend any more time on other things! Neku was my number one priority, although yes, I had to admit such a fixation on him was decidedly unhealthy. I didn't really care though.

"Shiki, wh-what's wrong?" asked a concerned Eri. "Lately all you seem to want to do is go home and… well, do whatever you say you need to do."

"You wouldn't hang out with us anymore," said someone sadly. "Is everything okay?"

"I noticed you look a little depressed these days," added another gal pal.

"No, no, not at all!" I said, trying to laugh, but rather unconvincingly. "Listen, I'm alright. Just gimme some time… Some time is all I need… and then I can join you guys again."

They seemed satisfied with that, although they must have been puzzled indeed. Eventually, after a while of refusals on my part, they learnt to go ahead without me. On one hand, I was relieved that I didn't have to go through the harrowing procedure of turning them down. But on the other, it hurt my heart deeply to see myself drifting further and further away from this group of crazy but lovable friends.

I didn't want this to happen… Might there have been a better way around this? At that time, I couldn't find it.

Was Neku the same way with his colleagues? The gradual isolation was something neither of us discussed because we were so busy going out on dates and having fun, and if we could forget about our worries, even if it was for a short while, then why did we need to bring up such matters? It always ate at me, though…

"Oh, Neku…" I breathed, my arms around his neck, "Thanks for tonight. I had a wonderful time."

"Let's go back to that restaurant again some time soon," he said, steadily closing the distance between our faces. "You wouldn't say no to that, would you?"

"Of course not." An intensely heated kiss ensued, right outside the doorstep of my apartment.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. Good night… I love you."

And so, while I was maintaining a strong relationship with Neku, my own relationships with the guys and girls at my workplace were suffering bit by bit. Couldn't say I was too happy about that.

XOXOXOXOXO

Eventually, the majority of the two months had gone by, leaving us with barely a week to achieve what we wanted to do. It had been hectic but fun for the past seven weeks, and there were some memorable times to be had.

For the weekend of the seventh week, Neku had planned a picnic of sorts for just the two of us. On hindsight, it was more like an exciting escapade than a simple innocent lunchbox exchange.

It was Saturday night at the local beach, just a scant half hour before midnight. The place was all but devoid of people, and the lifeguards had gone home. So the only ones walking the sands were us. Neku… and me.

Nothing could describe how lovely the night was. The moonlight that shone down on the coast was nearly as bright as day, and I could see everything clearly. The tide lapped at the sands slowly, and it was mesmerizing simply watching them ebb and flow.

He placed a blanket on the sandy ground and we sat down on it, facing the watery plains.

"Well… it's our last week," he muttered, "Sure had some crazy times together, huh, Shiki?"

"Yeah," I purred, nuzzling up against him. "I enjoyed every moment of it."

We shared a few minutes in silence. Simply being next to each other in close proximity filled me with a sense of security and comfort. And being in such a quiet, serene place with a picturesque view of the ocean made the entire experience much more romantic.

"You know, Shiki," he said, his warm breath in my ear, "I never told you about this, but the beach is my favourite spot. But not so much in the day."

"But people like the beach all nice and sunny, don't they?"

"Yes, but it's peaceful at night," he reasoned, "not to mention beautiful." He swept his hand across the vastness of the water. "Wouldn't you agree with me that, seen at night, the beach has this… aura about it?"

"I think I get what you mean," I said, "Just sitting here by ourselves… it makes me wish we could stay like this forever."

He smiled and turned my head to face him, touching my lips briefly with his own.

"Shiki," he breathed, "I don't have much time left."

A wave of emotions flooded over me. Guilt, regret, sadness. Had I spent my time with him wisely? Were we satisfied?

My hands were wringing with each other. "I know, Neku. I'm still mad over how The Composer can toy with your life like that and get away with it. And when I think about how I can't even do a thing about it, I'm so frustrated."

"I'm frustrated too," he admitted, "but I can't do anything about it either. You know, Shiki, The Composer has appeared to me time and again, and every time he did, I always tried to bargain with him about not going through with my punishment."

I bit my lip. "But if you still have only one week left, then he didn't grant you your request, did he?"

Neku shook his head.

"We may not be able to see each other again," he said, his heart heavy and weighed down by emotional turmoil, "but know this, Shiki. I'll always love you."

"Me too…"

We gazed at the ocean together, taking in the fresh night breeze and beauty of nature at its best. Even though the prospects of spending my life alone without Neku were grim and foreboding, again I tried not to think too much about that now. The worst could wait. I could deal with it a little later. Right now, I couldn't ask for anything better than the touch of his loving embrace.

XOXOXOXOXO

Time is a cruel thing. It can drag on for too long, or run like water.

For me, it flew by too fast. Two months weren't enough. I needed more time, but this was all I would get.

Before I knew it, Neku was already down to his very last day.

I would never forget it for as long as I live. It was a Saturday. Our date that night was over a little too soon, or so I thought because the final day had a way of making time seem much shorter than it should.

Everything was a blur to me. I remembered the candlelit dinner, but what we spoke was nothing but a regrettably fuzzy memory. I could recall the romantic walk in the park near the Statue of Hachiko, but I could only vaguely remember the kiss we shared.

And before I knew it, I was standing in front of the doorstep of his apartment, together with him.

"Hey, um, Shiki?" he said a little nervously, "Could you come inside for a bit?"

His words snapped me back to reality. "Huh? Oh, yes. I… I'd love to."

My mind was in a complete daze as he led me inside his home. What was I doing here again? I tried to focus, but bring my mind to a single point that I could concentrate on, but it took all the effort I could muster, and it was enough to move the world.

I slumped on the couch, thinking about what would happen to Neku after tonight came to pass, and none of the things I could think of were good. There was a slight edge to him, too, and goodness knows how he must feel. What must have been going through the mind of a man who knew exactly when he was going to be gone?

"I'll go get you something to drink," he said, getting up from the couch.

Suddenly overcome by all sorts of negative thoughts, I grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him back down, looking to him for support much like how a chick would run for its mother. Taken by surprise, he could only stare at me.

"D-Don't…" I gulped, feeling very frightened. "Don't leave me alone… Stay with me."

"Relax… I'm just going to get you a drink – "

Losing control of myself, I spluttered, "But… but…! Today's your last day! _Our_ last day together! I don't want to leave you for even a minute!"

"Shiki…"

"Please…" I launched myself at him, hugging him tightly. "Please stay with me…"

He held me close as I grazed my head into his chest, wetting his shirt with my tears. I knew that he could understand my plight. But the strange thing was, for someone who was well aware that he was going to encounter such a terrible end, he was even calmer about it than I was. Had he resigned himself to his fate? Well, I certainly hadn't!

"Shiki… don't cry. I'm here."

My throat was trembling so much I had to force the words out. "But Neku… will you be alright after today? ! I don't even know if you're headed towards a better place or a worse one!"

He was grasping for answers. "Well, I…"

"And I wouldn't be able to see your handsome face anymore. When you smile, it's like you radiate light, and it goes a long way in making my life even brighter! But without you, what will happen to my light? I don't even want to think of a world without you!"

My desperation was bordering into the hysterical, and while I may have seemed to be in the makings of a lunatic at that time, it was understandable. Anyone in my shoes would know how hard it is to let go of someone you've loved for so long, only to have him taken away from you so rudely.

"Shiki," he said softly.

I was helpless to stop the sniffling. "Y-Yes…?"

"Listen to me. I've got something for you. Something for you to remember."

"What is it?" I slowly lifted my head.

"This phrase: everything will work out."

"Everything will… work out?"

"Even though I may be gone," he said reassuringly, "I have this uncanny feeling that somehow, someday, somewhere… we'll meet again."

"We… will?"

"I can't explain it, Shiki. I really don't know why. Let's just say I've always been right with gut feelings. And if my gut feeling is anything to go by… then it's something both of us can look forward to, right?"

"Neku…"

"Like I said, everything will work out." He cradled the back of my neck in one hand, and – this is how I know I had found and loved a special man – he leaned in for a slow, involved and very romantic lip lock. Every time he kissed me, my heart would dance with joy. Tonight was no exception.

"Neku, those are some very beautiful and meaningful words…"

He chuckled, "I know, right?"

"Thanks, you made me feel much better," I said, eyes still speckled with tears.

"Anytime."

Everything will work out… Yes, he had to be right. And if he was going to be confident about that, then so would I. However, such positive thinking didn't change the fact that tonight was going to be my last day with him. There was one thing in particular that I wanted to do…

"Neku…" I breathed into his ear, "I… I have one final request. Will you hear me out? And please don't freak out."

"Nothing is too strange for me, Shiki. Just name it and I'll do it for you."

I leaned against him, nudging my head into his shoulder, a way of silent thanks. "Will… Will you make me feel good?"

For a moment I thought he stopped breathing. Was I too direct? But then the next thing I knew, he was gazing into my soul, and at that point, I decided that those eyes of his – orbs of a serene sapphire hue – were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life.

With a slow, seductive drawl, he replied, "Yeah… I'll do my best."

His lips met with mine again. Our mouths danced together gently at first, then furiously. We staggered to his bedroom…

XOXOXOXOXO

It was agonizing. A little painful, even, since it was the first time I had done something like that. But it was the most amazing fifteen minutes of my life.

And these would be the last few minutes I shared with the man I love.

Sweaty and stripped of energy, the two of us just lay still, limbs entwined together, catching our breaths. I held up my hand and cupped it around his cheek, and he looked at me expectantly.

"Neku… thank you."

He managed a smile, though it was weak from exhaustion. "No… I must thank _you_. I'm going to disappear by dawn, but I'm so happy."

"Don't say _that_ word, and you know what I mean," I chided gently, "No matter what happens to you, I'll always care about you, Neku."

"Shiki…"

"I'll wait for you."

"Huh?"

"I'll wait for your return," I said with determination, "You said that everything will work out, right? I believe in that. And I'm confident that you'll come back. It doesn't matter how long it'll take, I'll be here waiting for you."

The empty purgatory he was destined for may or may not be a welcome place, but despite such worrying knowledge, he could afford a smile for me – a sad one but a smile nonetheless – and he said, "I'll do my best to come back. It wouldn't be easy, but where there's a will there's a way. And I'll find that way."

"And when we're finally reunited, let us live a happy life together. You and me."

"Yes… I like the sound of that." His tears fell on me.

"I love you, Neku."

"Me too. I love you too, Shiki. I always will."

We lay on our sides, cuddling together in a warm skin-to-skin embrace. In his arms nothing could harm me. The kiss he gave me was deep and intoxicating, and I savoured it to the fullest. Because I knew that once we exchanged our goodbyes and said good night to each other, it would be the last kiss I would ever have…

…at least until he returned. Whether it might happen or not was another matter, but we had made a promise to each other and I intend to see it through, no matter what the circumstances may be.

His face was so beautiful while he was sleeping… I looked at nothing else until sleep overcame me.

XOXOXOXOXO

When I awoke the next morning, it was to an empty apartment.

"Neku…?"

He wasn't on the bed, lying next to me. And already I had this heavy feeling… Did he already…?

I gathered up the sheets and wrapped them around my naked body, putting on my glasses and using my hand to comb away my haphazard hair. My clothes were strewn all over the floor and I would have to pick them up, but that could come later. Rising from the bed, I shuffled slowly and quietly around the apartment, checking every room, calling out to him as I did.

"Neku? Where are you?"

I had a good idea of where he was by now, but a part of me was clinging onto the hope that I was wrong. Perhaps, I hoped, everything was still normal. If he wasn't in bed then he might be in the kitchen making breakfast, or at least in the bathroom. However, I had scoured the whole place high and low and he was simply nowhere to be found.

"He's probably gone out for a bit," I tried to convince myself. Whenever he went out he would always take his cell phone with him, so I tried calling him. How nice it would be to hear his voice at least.

To my dismay, right after I dialed the number, I heard a ringtone blaring from the bedroom. It was familiar… too familiar. It was the ringtone he always used for his phone. And true enough, when I went to check, his phone was sitting on the bedside table, vibrating in tandem to the music it was making.

I ended the call, and the phone ceased its noise at the same time. On its display, I saw the words: "1 missed call: Shiki"

Tears sprang to my eyes. I fell back onto the bed, crying and crying and crying. Neku was gone… He really wasn't joking. His very existence was wiped off the face of Shibuya. And I was alone, without the man I loved.

The rest of the day I spent in his now-deserted apartment, doing nothing useful. Occasionally I would weep and pine for him. Other times I would go over all the good days and fun we shared together.

I was sad, but quickly remembered the promise we made to each other. I would be waiting for Neku with open arms. And of course, if he was right, and I knew he was, then _everything will work out_.

"Take your time, Neku," I whispered into the air, "but come back to me as soon as you get the chance. I love you. I'll always be here for you."

Could he hear me? Could he hear my words?

I hoped so.

XOXOXOXOXO

My work performance suffered for a while after Neku… officially ceased to exist.

I worked slower, it was harder to crank out new ideas for designs, and any new ideas that I did have were recycled from previous ones, making them look used and dated. I just couldn't get my creative juices to flow. Seeing my other colleagues get praised for their work while I sat in my cubicle rotting was seriously making me even more depressed than usual, on top of the sadness that I had to deal with from my boyfriend's disappearance.

And I had ignored them for so long. I wasn't sure how to bring myself to even talk to them.

Just when I thought all hope had lost, Eri stopped by to chat.

Cheery as usual… "Hi, Shiki, 'sup?"

I tried to look upbeat and cheerful, just like her. "Yeah… um, what's up, Eri?"

Eri wasn't dumb, though. She had been my friend for long enough to be able to tell what state of mind I was in just from observing the slightest changes in my voice and my facial expression.

She was direct about it this time. "Shiki, something's wrong, isn't it? You're not acting yourself these days." Her words were brutally true, but she wasn't unkind. She was just deeply worried about me.

The time had come to stop evading my friends' queries. Perhaps by opening up to them, I could slacken the strings of tension and sadness that were binding my soul together.

"That's true, Eri. You see…" I was fighting back tears, but I couldn't stop them from falling. "My boyfriend… well, he's gone."

"What? !" she cried, surprised. Her outburst attracted the attention of several other co-workers, who promptly converged at my cubicle just in time to see me weeping. "What do you mean your boyfriend is gone? What happened to him? He didn't… leave you, did he?"

"No. Let's just say he… passed away."

A murmur rose from the small crowd that had gathered. They were shocked upon this news.

"Is… Is this why you've been so sad?" asked one of the girls, "Not to sound rude, but is this why you couldn't come hang out with us those past few weeks?" Despite her cautious approach, some of her co-workers were giving her the evil eye.

"Yeah…" I replied, "Something like that. I'd rather not go into details for now, though… Please try to understand. But you know…" I began to lose control and sobbed hard. "…I love him so much… and now… now he's…"

"I'm so sorry to hear this, Shiki," said Eri, squeezing my shoulder. Together with her, the others offered their condolences.

Every heartfelt word from them gave me the strength to recover, even if it would take a considerable amount of time. But even when I was far from a complete recovery, I felt much better about myself than before.

"Thank you, everyone," I said, brushing tears away. "I'm so glad I have you guys."

"We're all here for you, Shiki," said Eri, "Say, I know this is really, really bad form of me to ask this, but…"

"Hmm?"

"…I was thinking, maybe we could go to a restaurant or something…" Before everyone could reprimand her for thinking about merrymaking at a time like this, she added swiftly, "…to, you know, help you get better."

I managed a slow smile. "That's… I don't mind at all."

That night, we just focused on having a good time at that restaurant, trying to lift my spirits. I didn't feel awkward, and in fact I had a pretty great night myself. Being with this lot of goofballs brought me closer to them once more, and whatever ties I had severed with them were now repaired and strengthened. Now, we were truly a family. Soon, my creative ability healed too, and I was on top of my game again.

No matter how close I was with them, however, I never forgot about Neku. That special place in my heart was reserved for only him.

XOXOXOXOXO

"So that's what happened, huh?"

"Yes, that's right, sweetie," I said, sipping from my cup of hot black coffee, "And this is the whole story."

The pretty teenage girl sitting opposite me on the table crossed her arms and frowned. "But you know, this is really far-fetched, if I do say so myself."

"I'm not surprised you think that way. And it's hard for me to prove it, but it's the truth."

"Man… I don't know what to say, Mum."

I just smiled. "Well, I've told you what you wanted to know about your father… What do you think?"

"It's quite an amazing tale, to be honest."

This girl whom I was talking to is my daughter. Or, to be precise, my _and_ Neku's daughter. _Our_ daughter.

It had been sixteen years since he disappeared, which is precisely her age. He may have vanished, leaving me by my lonesome self, but he left me with a precious gift: our child. Now that I'm older and wiser and have seen much in all of the thirty-seven years of my life, I have made it my main priority to raise her to be a person worthy to be looked up to, an example for the society.

She's feisty and impatient, but can also be kind and selfless. She definitely has shades of Neku in her.

"Mum…" She was inquisitive as ever; a good thing if she's to survive in this harsh world. "Did Dad give you that ring on your finger?" She pointed at my finger. Ah… observant as well.

"Oh, this?" I had this simple yet elegant diamond ring on the ring finger of my right hand. My daughter was asking about this. "No, he didn't. I bought this myself, to fool other people that I'm already married, or at least widowed. I have no interest in other men because your father's the only person I loved and still love."

"Wow…" Her hand raked through her silky long brown hair. "That's kinda hard to swallow. I mean, sixteen years!"

I chuckled and took another sip of coffee. "Someday when you find true love, you'll know what I mean."

"Maybe… but dammit, Mum," she groaned, "It's not nice to know that I'm a love child."

"Sorry, sweetie," I said, smiling sheepishly and blushing a little, "You can blame my selfishness… as well as your father's."

"Sheesh!"

She had another thing for me to clear up. "…You know, Mum, on another note, I've wondered about these blue eyes of mine."

"Your eyes?"

"Yeah, you did say that my dad had blue eyes, right?"

"Oh yes, you obviously got them from your father." Now that she mentioned it, I could see Neku's eyes shining in her face.

She stroked her chin. "Ah, that explains it. Lots of people have always asked me about them. And I've always wondered where I got them too. No one in your family has blue eyes. Not Grandma, not Grandpa… No one."

I noticed that she was deep in thought, as though thinking of another question to ask. "Don't hold back, sweetie," I encouraged her. It was good for her to know more about her wonderful father, after all. "Ask away."

"I do have one more question. Are you… still waiting for my dad to come back?"

For a flashing moment, the words Neku spoke to me sixteen years ago came back to me, echoing inside my head. _I'll do my best to come back. It wouldn't be easy, but where there's a will there's a way. And I'll find that way._ It had been such a long time since that day but those words stood out in my memory like a sheet of flame, clear and visible.

And of course, I knew the answer to my daughter's question.

"Why, of course," I said, with a smile, "I've promised to wait for his return. I'm going to see it through, at the very least. And it would be a pleasant surprise indeed if he could come back and see how much you've grown."

She responded only with awestruck silence. When she found her voice, "Wow." That was all she could say. "This is a lot to take in, Mum. I think I might have more questions for you later. But I need to think them up first."

"That's fine with me. In the meantime, you might want to finish that apple pie before it gets too cold."

Fifteen minutes later we were out of that coffee shop and walking along the streets of Shibuya. My daughter spoke up after a while.

"Mum."

"Yes?"

"I'll wait with you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, curious.

"I'll wait for Dad together with you," she said, "We'll wait for him to come back."

Upon hearing those words, my heart lurched. Her personality may have some rough edges, but there were times when she could be very caring of others, like now. I was so touched that I couldn't help but pull her closer and plant a quick peck on her forehead.

She immediately snapped in exasperation, "Mum…!"

"You have your father's thoughtfulness," I simply said with a motherly grin.

"But we're in public! It's not the place for family bonding."

"Ha ha ha… Really?"

XOXOXOXOXO

One or two unanswered questions lingered around though.

Neku disappeared right after our daughter was conceived. But did he truly and really dissolve from existence altogether as he had put it? What if he was still around? What if he was already reincarnated… _but as my daughter_? Then it would mean that he had become his own daughter…

And it would also mean that he had kept his promise to see me again…

This was just a supposition though. And anyway, there was no way to know the facts now. But regardless of how the truth may have played out, I would unerringly wait for him.

Yes… I look forward to each day with a smile on my face, with our lovely daughter by my side, hoping that Neku would return to my arms and we could be one happy and complete family at long last.

Neku would be happy to know what a terrific young lady our daughter has grown up to be. She's still floundering about like many teenagers her age do, going through awkward phases like forging friendships and falling in love, but such are the nuances of life that make things interesting. Every experience she goes through first-hand makes her stronger… makes _me_ stronger as I watch, impressed by her stalwart attitude of "if I fall then I'll just get back up and keep moving".

I only wished Neku was together with me to bear witness to the exciting process of how she grew up. We could have shared so many more precious memories together that way. But I know that if he is watching everything from somewhere, then without a doubt he must be very proud of us.

I just know.


End file.
